Grant

I have a friend a work,let's call him Grant, who everyone thinks is gay.
He tells me he is straight so I believe him. He has a girlfriend and is a very
caring and intelligent person. He is tall very attractive and is articulate.
He also has great taste in clothing and has fantastic style. Now anywhere
else in the world he would be considered metro-sexual,but here in the DR he is
stamped with gay and in the closet.

Grant and I have had several conversations recently and in those discussions he has shown how sensitive and caring he is about humanity. His strong
convictions about love and relationships are admirable. He speaks of his
girlfriend in glowing terms. I feel like I am a better person because I know him.
I belief my friend is subject to these attacks because he
does not act like the "typical" Dominican male in their 20s. As a college graduate
with a Visa that allows him to travel anywhere he is the envy of many of his peers. Grant doesn't act like he grew up on a corner in Brooklyn. (not that there is anything wrong with that). Many Dominicans believe they have the
right to tell you how to live. As I wrote that sentence I was thinking Americans think that way also. Moreover in a small third world country being different is not appreciated.

I have always lived my life and everyone else be damned. Life is to be lived to its fullest. I won't spend my time on small minds and idiotic attitudes, weather I'm in Santo Domingo or Marakesh. I have always liked the quote from Marilyn Williamson, this reminds me, to be me everyday. I in turn will help everyone around me
shine, Grant, keep being who you are--damn
everybody else.


Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within
us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously
give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others
--Marilyn Williams

She's In

I never thought I would see the day when a woman, an African American man, and a man of Hispanic decent would have a serious opportunity to become a major political party's nominee for President of the United States. Man, have we come a long way. Now that is a line up that looks like America.

The first vote I ever cast for President was for a little know southern governor, Bill Clinton. He went on to lead our country to the most prosperous time in our
nation's history. His leadership and his common touch was revered and appreciated around the world. The woman who was at his side is now seeking to return to the White House as the Chief Executive.

The two term US Senator from New York is the first credible female candidate to seek her party's nomination and I whole heartedly support her. Rarely has there been a candidate who encompasses the intelligence, passion, and experience. Intelligence lead her from Yale Law School to one of the top law firms in the country. Her passion for children and women's issues lead her to be of the top advocates in her field. Her experience as a two term Senator has shown her value in Washington as well as on the world stage. Her talent as First Lady was valuable in
showing us her courage and grace.

Her views on the war, health care, education, and the environment mirror my own. I believe she will use the failure of the health care initiative in President Clinton's first term, as a learning experience to push Congress to enact
legislation that will overhaul the health care system, so that it provides for all of
our citizens. She has been vilified by republicans
and the far right for more than 30 years and she has beat them at every turn.
She is battle-tested and tough. She can lead with a velvet glove on her iron fist.

It was no accident Mrs. Clinton made her announcement on a Saturday morning. She made the announcement to make sure she was the lead story on all the Sunday newspapers. Most newspapers largest selling day is Sunday. This shows how smart and sharp her campaign team already is. Moreover, January 20th is
constitionally Inauguration Day, so in two years on January 20,2009, Hillary Rodham Clinton could be sworn in as the first female President of the United States.

In the political solar system, if Hillary Clinton is Jupiter, then Barak Obama is Saturn. Saturn to the cool planet with the rings. Obama is the cool candidate with the cool name. The first term US Senator from Illinois is a rock star on the democratic stage. With a movie star smile and the ability to speak to the hearts of the young and elderly and black or white citizens makes him Hillary's chief
rival.

In 1984 Jesse Jackson launched his bid for President with much fanfare, but fizzled soon after. Barak is a different animal. His ability to build collations
and raise millions of dollars makes him a very serious challenger. I only wonder if it is not to soon for him, with only serving two years in the US Senate. His lack of foreign policy knowledge and his sparce leglative record may hinder him. On the other hand, people may see his inexperience as a breath of fresh air. I hope he is ready for a combative and nasty campaign. Everything he has ever said and done will be scrutinized and exploited.

When Gov. Bill Richardson of New Mexico announced his canadacy for President he said, ""Our reputation in the world is diminished, our economy has languished,
and civility and common decency in government has perished," He spoke no truer words. Richardson may have the most experience in the field. The former
Congressman, UN Ambassador, Energy Secretary and current Governor has the most foreign and domestic policy experience in the party. In any other election cycle Richardson might be a top tier candidate, but Clinton and Obama are
clearly the stars of the group.

Richard is a compelling candidate because of this experience and his "folksy" demeanor. His ability to connect with voters is a key asset. His grasp of
issues and the ability to relate those issues to voters is exceptional. The
key issue to his canadaicy will surround immigration and how that plays to primary voters in lily white New Hampshire and Iowa. An early primary in Nevada will help him stay in the race. His ability on the stump will also play in the mix. A debate with Clinton and Obama would also be interesting, watching the two
men carefully attack the former first lady.

Their are some other credible candidates old white men (OWM) in or considering running for the nomination. The group of white men include former VP
nominee John Edwards, former VP Al Gore, and 2004 nominee Sen John Kerry.
Other candidates include, US Senators Chris Dodd and
Joe Biden, and Gov. Tom Vislick of Iowa,

The Republicans have a group of (OWM) that will also go though the primary season process. Not one of them has real star quality,charisma or talent to sustain the
White House. So the Democratic nomination process will be intense and
rocky and maybe, just maybe, Americans will make history in 2008.

Cheril & Monica's Wedding

A few days ago I mentioned my friends Monica and Cheril were getting married. Here is a video they put together of thier special day. I am overjoyed and excited for them. I hope you enjoy the pictures and music.

Jennifer Hudson - Letterman Performance

I saw Dreamgirls this morning and I was blown away. I began the movie with high expectations and the musical exceeded them. I have been listening to the Broadway cast album for more than 25 years, so I know every song like I know the alphabet. This version was fresh and invigorating.

Words can not express how impressed I was with Jennifer Hudson's performance. The critics having been talking for months how good she was, but you have to see and hear her. Hudson gives a tour de force performance and sets the screen on fire. The camera loves her and her voice is golden. The supporting cast is above average--Jamie Foxx is outstanding as usual along with Danny Glover. I was amazed at the performance of Eddie Murphy. He had depth and range, this was the best acting from him in a long time. Anika Noni Rose gives a solid performance. The most surprising performance was Keith Robinson as C.C. White. Beyonce does a great imitation of Diana Ross. Her performance was nothing special, but she held her own.

Every Broadway musical has a "showstopper". The show stopper is ,"And I am Telling You". Hudson's performance is superior, but in my heart the song will always be Jennifer Holliday's. It's like someone remaking Respect by Aretha Franklin. Their are other songs from the movie/show that gave me goose bumps.

1. I Am Changing-I cried for Effie, because she saw the error of her ways and wanted to apologies for actions. Hudson handles this song with strength and power.

2. We Are A Family-The cast surrounds Effie and ask her to swallow her pride and dreams for the success of the group. This song made me very emotional, it really touched me. Kudos to Keith Robinson.

3. That's My Dream-Jamie Fox sings to Beyonce, I could feel how much Curtis loved Deena and believed in her. Jamie gave me chills, that song was pitch perfect.

4. Listen, This is a song written for the movie and it is a stunner. If Beyonce receives an Academy Award nomincation, it's because of this song. In the middle of this song the tears streamed down my cheeks like rain.

The last song, Dreamgirls Finale is a stunner. Effie returning to sing lead as Deena returns to backup is fitting. Effie is belting out the song to the crowd, but she is really singing to her daughter was awe inspiring. I stood in my room and applauded the movie, Richard and Eve thought I was crazy, but the movie deserved even my humble praise.

I have included a clip of Jennifer Hudson singing, I Am Changing". The clip is from the Late Show with David Letterman. Enjoy.

Gay marriage

On this MLK Day, I have been thinking of equality and justice.
Martin Luther King was many things to many people. He was hated and loved just the same for his struggle to bring us together to "form a more perfect union".

Justice and equality reach beyond race and class, it also touches gender and sexual orientation. If Martin were alive today, how would he feel about gay marriage? The issue has all the earmarks of an issue he would have trumpeted. Equality, injustice, and the right to live and grow equally with our neighbors. In my humble opinion, as a liberal and a champion of the under represented Martin would have been a leader in the fight for gay marriage.

I have been ambivalent about the issue over the past few years. I wasn't for or against it, because I didn't think it made a difference in peoples everyday lives. That was until I was in love and in a serious relationship. I began to think about honor, commitment, and love. How sharing your life with someone was important and should be valued. Standing in front of God, family and my friends was something I want to do. I want the union to be recognized by the government and given all of the rights and responsibilities afforded to my straight neighbors.

It is very fitting that on this day of equality, my friends Cheryl and Monica will be getting married today in a lavish ceremony on Long Island. Their union is one filled with love, honor and respect. I celebrate and honor their commitment to one another. I won't be there today, but will think of them as they exchange their vows. This is from an old Irish prayer and I send it out to Cheryl and Monica.

May the road rise up to meet you,
may the wind always be at your back,
may the sun shine upon your sweet face,
may the rains always fall softly on your fields,
and until we meet again
may God hold you in the hallow of His hand.

The Ugly American

I have been reading DR1 lately, trying to find another
Jack Russell terrier so I can breed Eve. In reading
the blog I have read several entries by Americans who live here. I have
been surprised at the amount of rude and disparaging remarks they have made
about this country and its people. Now I will admit things are not
perfect here, but I choose to live here and accept my environment.
I have had minor "comfort level" complaints, but by in large I love living here and the Dominicans who are close to me have become my family.

Now back to DR1. The site is visited by many Europeans
and Americans. Many of the Europeans
post positive and informative information about the
country. They write about property for sale,
job openings and answer tourism questions. Leave it
to the Americans to bitch and moan about what
is wrong with the DR. Many of the Americans give
answers to the questions that are posted. In the same
post they find a way to bash the country.

For example, an American living here lost her dog. She
wrote a post, giving details on her pet and providing
a reward. She also noted the dog had a tracing device embedded into her coat. An
American responded to the post, telling the pet owner about veterinarians she could call in the area, but they also included a comment on how,"York-Dominicans bring dogs here from shelters in New York and sell them here for hundreds of dollars and her dogs chip was probably removed and sold. The writer also included "there are no morals and values in this country." He continued, "you can pay anybody any amount of money and they will do anything here." Excuse me, was he speaking of Santo Domingo or New York City. Their is enough moral decay in the US to last several lifetimes.

This island is not immune to con artist and thieves, but every region of the world has low lifes. Some Americans seem to think the land of Jefferon and Lincoln is
perfection wrapped in a dream, but it isn't. If most American
bloggers on DR1 feel this way, why are they here?

I recently had and encounter with an American, that left me shaking my head. The American was here for two weeks on vacation. He seemed nice a first, but then he
opened his mouth. He knew everything and had been everywhere, and wanted
everyone to know it. He had an opinion on every subject and an answer to every question. Most of his answers were wrong, so naturally I corrected him. He became
incensed that his knowledge was being challenged and became even more
arrogant. At that point I removed myself from the situation, because Byron does not do arguments with strangers in public. That situation left me with this, why do so many Americans come here with bad attitudes and are not friendly or courteous?

Why can't more people be like Rafael from PR or Cliff
from Canada. They are genuinely good people, who I
enjoy being around. That also goes for Jim from Houston, James from
Florida and my many friends in SF an DC. I have met
some really cool Americans who visit several times a year and they are
a delight. What I don't have time for are the many "ugly Americans" who come here
with a nasty attitude, a sour demeanor and the ability to put a black eye on everybody's good time.

PDA

Public displays of affection is very common in the US,especially in the gay meccas of NY, LA and San Francisco. Boys holding hands, girls kissing and some heavy
petting can be seen in cafes, bars, or even just walking down the street. Many an afternoon I have held hands with my boyfriend while shopping in SOHo or kissing at a bar in the Village. PDA is nothing I would in encourage, it just happened.

I was reading a piece recently in the New York Times about a gay couple that was reprimanded by a stewardess on a flight from Paris to New York, for holding hands, and sleeping on the other's shoulder. The stewardess told the couple to "stop that" because other passengers were complaining their behavior and made them uncomfortable. When questioned, passengers were not complaining, it was the stewardess who felt uncomfortable. I have been guilty of this behavior on flights, bus rides and even on the subway. That got me to thinking, what is my responsibility for other peoples comfort level?

I really have never paid much attention to other peoples comfort level when it comes to being who I am. Expressing my joy and appreciation for another is a natural occurrence for me. Now I "temper" my behavior, now that I am older--by my surroundings. My behavior is more reserved when I am around older people or children. I am more aware of my behavior because I respect their rights.

Here in the DR, PDA is an issue. On most any street corner at night, you can see a straight couple doing everything under the sun. I was walking Eve last week and saw a girl giving a guy a hand job, sitting in a car--I saw it because the car door was
open. I could not believe it, now if it were a gay couple I'm sure the police would be involved.

PDA is acceptable in a few places here--your home, friends homes and gay
establishments--JDs, Arena, Friends, but when you get out of Santo Domingo feelings soften on this issue. I have been told that in Santiago, men have been seen walking hand in hand and hugging in public parks. On the beach in Barahona and Bani Richard and I have held hands, frolicked together in the water and kissed, without anyone batting an eye.

I will continue to have self respect, respect others rights and just use common sense. I would not hold hands in the Bronx on the subway at 2AM or kiss my
boyfriend at noon on Conde. I will continue to be me. I applaud PDA, just use good judgment and respect others.

Age Appropriate

Growing up in the middle class "new south", I was always taught about dressing a certain way for certain occasions. Coat/tie or suit for church, slacks and
a polo shirt for school and jeans and a t-shirt for the weekend while hanging out with friends was the norm. While in college my style evolved into a funky/preppy collage. Now I enjoy a mix of retro/designer relaxed island life look. While my
personal style fits my lifestyle now, many people here in the DR don't subscribe to the age appropriate mantra.

I will describe age appropriateness as my mother would--"people wearing clothes they shouldn't ie-too loose, too tight, too short, and sometimes,just too much." Here on the island paradise age is only a number. You will see 60 year old women in
halter tops, tight jeans and heels. You will also see men in their 70s with flat billed baseball hats and basketball jerseys. While 10 and 11 year old girls have on more make up than Max factor could produce. They also wear skits so short you
can see their heartbeat.

The woman who does my manicure and peticure is walking perfection. Her skin is flawless, her hair emasculate, and her breasts are perfectly round and a straight boy's dream. For the life of me I can't tell how old she is. She could be 25 or 50. I can't tell.

The women don't own the market on beauty. The men also have some
wonder potion. I have met some men in their 40s and I swear I can smell the
Gerber's on their breath. Some 15 and 16 year old boys have the bodies of full grown
men. I recently saw pictures of my Richard when he was 14 and he has the same muscular build he has now.

Some people say this place is all about looks. In
some aspects it is but, I can blend into a crowd with age not being a factor. I
applaud the Dominican ideal of not accepting age appropriateness. You can dress like a star no mater your age. If you are 60, you can dress like Jennifer Lopez, if you are a man and in your 80s, put on the doo rag and Tupac T-shirt. I draw
the line at make up, if you are still playing with dolls and watching cartoons, you should not be wearing make up--unless you have Jon Bebet Syndrome.

In living here I have learned to celebrate diversity and excise my subversive conservative upbringing. OK, so I enjoyed my conservative, subversive upbringing. Somethings are hard to overcome, but the site of a very plump 40
something in a halter top, tight jeans and 6 inch spiked heels is even to much for me to bear. Too tight, too small, too short, you to can be a star in the "age of appropriateness", here in the DR.

Happy 2007

I hope everyone made it through the holiday season safe and healthy. Today marks the last day of the official Christmas season here in Dominican Republic. Today is 3 Kings Day, the kids get there toys today. On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day the kids get new clothes and shoes.

Our holiday was great, it was filled with joy, old friends, new friends and some bling-bling. I spent Christmas Eve with Fabrizio and his family. We had a lovely dinner and some stimulating conversation. I spent Christmas Day with Richard and his family. We ate and drank like sailors home on leave. We spent a very romantic Christmas night together.

One of my best friends made a surprise visit for New Year's Weekend. Robert popped in from a neighboring island and partied with us. We made stops at JD's and Arena. We actually celebrated twice. We watched the fireworks from Fabrizio's roof and under a full moon. We then went back in and watched the ball drop in Times Square-New York is always a focal point.

After a day of sleep we were invited to the Camillo House for a traditional New Year's Day dinner. Our host James is a very good friend of this blog. Thanks again James. The chicken, ham, potato salad and the collard greens were a welcome comfort to my Chivas soaked stomach. The fun and fellowship were also very much appreciated. The guys gathered at the celebration have been coming to the DR for 10,15, 20 years and they regaled us with their stories of love/lust and everything in between. The stories were colorful and full of life. Thanks guys, you started off my 2007 great.

I wish everyone good vibrations in the new year. Here is a list of things I would like to accomplish this year.
1. Run a mile in under 8 minutes
2. Learn to speak Spanish fluently-I'm taking a class
3. Have children
4. Buy a car
5. Visit Brazil

That is a small list, I also have a laundry list of things I want to do or improve this year.